Asking for help
Sometime back in the summer just gone, I got a bit stuck. I’d been running this business for something like eight years, and somehow I’d lost track of where we were going. A lot of things that seemed to make sense previously now didn’t.
I was a bit rudderless, feeling disengaged and a little bit disenchanted, and the feeling wasn't going away. So I did the only thing I could think of – I asked for help. As kids, if we need help, we don’t hesitate. My kids are more than happy to request assistance – and in fact, part of parenting is to help them learn that they can do things for themselves. But as adults, asking for help doesn’t always come so naturally. For one thing, you’ve got to admit that you don’t know the answers, which we often don’t like to do. And you’ve also got to figure out who you’re going to ask, and how to frame the question.
It didn’t come easily to me. I chased my tail for several weeks wondering why I couldn’t shake this off or figure it out for myself. I kind of felt it was a personal failing, and surely anyone competent wouldn’t have this problem (imposter syndrome, anyone?). But eventually I got fed up with feeling demotivated, and I started looking around to see who I could talk to for some new ideas. I needed an external perspective. So, over the following weeks I talked to a bunch of people from around my network. And not only did everyone willingly give me their time; each and every one of them also gave me input and ideas that helped to unstick me and kick off new ideas and momentum.
I talked to my boss, Michael, who helped me set my compass with a long-term goal. Then I talked to our wonderful HR-and-everything-else consultant, Nicky, who helped me to crystallise an idea that’s been in the background for a long time, and also to figure out some of the first steps towards that goal. A friend of mine Kerry - who I met at a networking event many years ago – was next, allowing me to bounce ideas off her and giving me insights that helped to shape a plan, as well as introductions to some really interesting people. Richard Ord and Paul Major also allowed me to pick their brains, bringing their own insights to the table. I even spoke to a personal and professional coach, to see if coaching was what I needed – it turns out that it wasn’t (or at least not right now), but Chris Finn gave me a couple of hours of his time to figure that out, and pinged off a few useful thoughts on the way.
It's not just been about asking people for help, of course. Along the way I’ve bought books, read insightful blog posts and joined webinars in search of additional brain food. I’ve also learned to give things time to process – that it sometimes takes a bit of time to figure out the next steps.
So while I’m honestly pretty uncomfortable with sharing personal stories on public platforms, I did want to note two things for anyone who does happen to read this. Firstly, don’t be afraid to ask for help, even if you’re not sure exactly what help you need. The act of asking is more empowering than you think, and people are more ready to help than you might imagine. And secondly, thanks to everyone who’s generously given me their time and insights – it’s hugely appreciated.